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Humor Archives | Lapsus Calami
SETI at Home

Funny Bumper-stickers

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. Don’t take life too seriously; No […]

Silly facts

How can you live without knowing these things? Some may not be true but at least they sound funny.  The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. Coca-Cola was originally green. It is […]

Getting old

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?” “98,” she replied. “Two years older than me.” “So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented. She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: “And what do you think is the […]

IT department

How to Please Your I.T. Department… Here’s a 15-step Plan! 01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children’s art. We don’t have a life, and we find it deeply moving to […]

Famous quotes

37. “I’m so smart now. Everyone’s always like ‘take your top off.’ Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I’m not stupid.” — Paris Hilton 36. “What’s Wal-Mart? Do they sell, like wall stuff?” — Paris Hilton 35. “The most loving thing to do is to share your bed with someone.” — […]